Reflecting on Slice

Today is day 31 of the Slice of Life writing challenge. Today is the last day those of us in the challenge are asked to post. I took on this challenge with lots of trepidation, I'm not a writer. I've never written for 31 days straight in my life. I have boxes of journals that were begun with good intentions but never got past a few days. Taking on this challenge has taught be a lot about myself as a writer.

*Ive learned that my best writing comes from ideas that I let simmer in my mind for a while.
*I've learned that writing about something every day is really hard.
*I've learned that I need to hear feedback on my writing...the sooner the better.
*Some topics are better left unpublished.
*Finding my voice in words is harder than I thought it would be.
*Reading other Slices taught be more about writing and hopefully made me a better writer.
*I don't foresee myself being a fiction writer at all. I'm at my best when I write about what I know and am passionate about.
*Most of my writing was mediocre at best but every once in a while I let the idea simmer just long enough I had something I was proud of.
*Asking my students to write everyday is a bigger expectation than I thought. I'm asking a lot of them, yet everyday they are so excited to write. I was not excited to write everyday.
*Writing was a big risk. Putting my words out there for others to read, I felt exposed.

This writing challenge has brought lots of time to reflect and review my thoughts, feelings and words. I'm thankful for the time I've gotten to do this and hope that I can keep up a pattern of writing. Thank you Ruth and Stacy for creating this amazing challenge, I've learned so much about myself and so many other people.

Untold Stories

During this Slice of Life challenge I've started several different stories that have never been published. I started one about a student and her incredible growth this year but I was nervous about posting even with names changed. I started another post about my dad. I just can't get it right. I firmly believe my dad is the greatest man on earth and I can't quite capture him in words. I started a post about yards in my neighborhood and the almost unspoken competition between them. We are in last place in the competition and had to call in professionals. I also started a post about traveling I love traveling but hate packing.

These are my untold stories from the slice challenge. Do you have any stories that didn't make it in?

Possibilities and Realities

I love first thing in the morning when the classroom is quiet and the possibilities are awaiting. Who will be here today? What questions will they have? What stories will they tell? Every day is different and the possibilities are endless. The only thing I can hope is that they learn something new and are happy to be here. Today will be better than yesterday.

THe previous paragraph was written about ten minutes before the bell rang. I had just checked my email and I was thinking about our day.

Today brought many adventures. After a student shared a book with Blue Whales we went outside to see exactly how long a blue whale was. The chalk went all of the way across the black top and halfway down the sidewalk...80 ft. You can't explain that without looking at it.

Today was the last day of our study of non fiction writing. We shared our expertise with the second graders. My students were amazed they knew things that the "big kids" didn't. They've worked so hard becoming experts at many things like penguins, Legos, hair salons, puppies, sharks, and different kinds of friends.

A baby book was brought in and we learned that a student looks just like her mother as a baby.

We mapped the trip from our town to Hilton Head Island. A student is going there for spring break and wanted everyone to see. This also lead to a discussion about ferry boats. They were amazed that you could put a car on a boat.

PTO dropped off hula hoops and skip-its for recess. The kids got a good laugh as I attempted to show them how these things work. Lesson: leave it to the kids. :-)

Today was also the official announcement that our principal has accepted a position in the admin office. We've known for a week or so (actually that was one of the parts of Snake Day). I'm unsure how I feel about this change. He's had my back but I know this is what he wanted and will be great for his family. I'm nervous about the new principal he/she has not been hired yet so I guess I fear the unknown.

I'm now on Spring Break. It's a welcome time to rejuvenate and restart.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

I will be here in 2 1/2 weeks.  Cell phones will not work.  Life will be amazing!

What is in the box?

A teacher friend emailed me a couple of weeks ago asking for my address. She said she was cleaning out her bookshelves and thought some books would work well in my classroom. I was floored! Of course I'll jump at any chance to get new books. Friday, I came home to a GIANT box of books on my porch...I had trouble lifting it. I couldn't wait to get it inside so I perched myself on the concrete and dove in. I Pulled book after book out of the box. It was A-MA-ZING.

I couldn't wait to get the books to school yesterday for the kids to see. Kindergartners notice everything, I mean everything, so when they walked in and their was a big box on the reading table they freaked out.
-What's in the box?
-I see books everybody!
-Whats under the books? Me-more books (sly smile)
-You mean there are books all the way to the bottom?!
-Do you think there is a Dinosaur book in there? (from my dinosaur expert, there was one)
-I bet there is a book about animals.


I left that box there for a while ( for a kindergartner...eternity) I waiting until almost 2:00 to mention the box again. They kids were putting away their writing and I casually ( but not so gracefully) picked up the box and took it to the center of the carpet. I sat there and waiting for them to notice. Then it started...
-Guys, it's book time!
-The books are out!!
-Yay! We get to look at the new books!

They were sitting so close to me I couldn't get the flaps of the box open. I slowly opened the box building their excitement. One at a time, I took the books out, read the title and handed it to a student. We had to close the door they were squealing so loud with excitement. After everyone had a book, I put the rest on the floor in between students. The squeals stopped and there was a buzz of kindergartners looking at pictures, reading a few words, sharing things they found and generally enjoying themselves. You know your in my class when 5 and 6 year olds are saying things like "I love the way new books smell.", "this is the best day ever!", and "can we take these home tonight?"

Before they left, several books were already in mailboxes ready to go home to share with families. The teacher who sent these books knows better than any of us the power of reading and I'm sure my kids would have made her smile. I just hope she knows the impact she had and will continue to have on these kids who have few books at home. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!


*I have pictures of the kids and their books but I do not have permission to post them.

Today

Today was just a good day. My sister did my hair, mom and I went shopping and had dinner with the whole family this evening. My dad and I also made a plan for doing some work on our yard (Sidenote- I've tried for 2.5 weeks to write a post about how awesome my dad is and haven't been able to capture him properly. I'll keep trying).

Today ends with peace and smiles. Can't ask for more than that.

Is it home?

Tonight I'm in Kentucky at my parents house. It the house I lived in from the time I was 10 to 18. It's the house my friends came to and prom pictures were taken. It's where I got ready for countless band practices, had family dinner every night and played many games on Family Game Night. Is this home? This is the place where the cupboards are stocked with all the delicious food I refuse to buy and we talk for hours about everything. I come here several times a year to open arms but is it home?

I have a home of my own now, it's a work in progress but it's nice. We've lived there for two years and love being there is that my home?

I thought about this a lot on my drive this evening (I think a lot on drives). Then I walked in the door here and realized this is home. This place has the memories and the love built it. Years of it are seeped into the walls.

My new home is a blank slate waiting for the years of memories and love to overtake it. Both of these places are equally important but one will always have part of my heart.

It's good to be home.

Snake on a Playground

Tuesday was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was bright, there was a nice breeze and the kids we running around like they had been let loose from the zoo. It was one of those recesses where I was tending to lots of falls, splinters and a couple of bee scares.

A former preschool teacher had just stopped by to visit when we hear "Ssssnnnnaaakkkee!!!" Honestly, I ignored it. My kids love to pretend they are all sorts of things from ninjas to dragons to tigers so pretending they were snakes was nothing new. Then the kid who I don't see from the time the playground gate opens until we line up comes running over. "Ms. Kessler, Ms. Kessler....There. Is. A. Snake!!"

I walk over to investigate. All kids are on the concrete section and I'm being really brave as "the snake hunter". I walk around for a minute or two and see nothing. I go in all the different directions they are sure they hear hissing and see the grass moving and then there it is. He (snakes are boys, lady bugs are girls...just the way it is) looked at me and slithered away. At my school, there is a "procedure" for EVERYTHING. Not being clear on the snake procedure I decide to radio the office. The obvious things are suggested: kids stay off grass, don't touch it...etc.

Then my principal (the same guy my kids think is on the front of the quarter) comes out in his shades with a purple medical glove on. The stories of how big the snake is had already started. The kids are pretty sure: it was at least 6ft long, had a rattle, was a boa constrictor, they could hear it hissing from 50 ft away, it had a bulge it it's belly so it probably ate a cat....

Truth: There was a snake, he was about a foot and a half long, he didn't hiss, there was no bulge or rattle. I would bet he was a Garter Snake.

Keeping the kids away from the snake was easy, keeping them calm was not. We came inside and everyone who passed us in the hall knew about the snake. She tried to have a math lesson but it turned into a science lesson about snakes. All of the snake books are checked out of our classroom library now. I have 17 snake experts in my room, if you have questions I'm sure they would love to share.

P.S. Purple glove mission was unsuccessful...still unclear what the eventual plan was. :-)

Today

Today was one of those days where this morning feels like it was a week ago. Any section of my day could be a whole post on its own but I'm too worn out think that much. Here are some words and phrase that describe my day.

Beautiful morning
Kids extra quiet
One student late ( explains quiet)
"I'm special because I can sew"
"I'm special because I'm a great big brother"
"Theres nothing special about me..."
SSSNNNAAAKKKEEEE!
No less than 54678 questions about snakes
Snake research and learning
Confused
Frightened
Tears
Bruises
Splinter
"this is my best story EVER...can you read it, can you read it now?" It was his best ever!!
Making tough decisions
Questions
Changes
Uncertainty
Manicure :-)
Grocery
Home
Dinner
Shopping for gift for tomorrow
Eyes barely open
Good night

Spring

I would say that spring is my favorite season but I'm usually happy for whatever changes each season brings. I like spring because it's a time of renewal. The flowers come up, the trees bloom and I feel energized by the sun and warm weather. Tomorrow is the first day of spring, yet it was 80° here today. I would think that the spring would be taken for granted with such a mild winter but I was wrong. Today Chris and I spent much of the day outside planning projects for the next couple of months. Some will happen and others will be put on hold. We talked about what we would like to include in the garden this year (last year was our first garden and it looked like a jungle), we want to build a small wall around the flower bed and have some top soil delivered, but more urgently we looked around at our yard which is full of weeds. It would be a beautiful meadow but not a beautiful yard. This will be our 3rd spring/summer here and it's time to call in the professionals people. We've given our best try to make it look like a yard and the weeds just laugh at us. The professionals will start their work this week and hopefully that is one project that we can check off the list. We are also planning on new siding which may be on hold since the roof leaked during the rain storm last night. Who knows what will happen but it's spring, the colors are bright, the sun is out and there's much to smile about.

Comments

Ruth convinced me to start this project at the Dublin Literacy Conference. She talked about how she is driven to keep writing because of the feedback she gets from comments. I thought about this, and I do love getting comments but I didn't think it drove my writing.

After starting this project I realized how much the comments on each post mean to me. I can't wait to hear what others think about want I decided to share that day. The comments that challenge or extend my thinking are my favorite. I also like hearing how others relate to my stories or have something similar at has happened to them. All in all Ruth was right, the comments do drive me to continue writing even on days like today when I don't feel like I have much to say.

So thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment on my writing. It's always a work in progress but you keep me going.

Beautiful Day

Today was an amazing beautiful day. Here are some pictures to illustrate.

First is the tree the city planted for us after Ash Borer Beatles killed 100's in our neighborhood.

Second is the daffodils in my front yard that are about to burst open.

And finally the grill full of delicious food

Two Kindergarten Stories

Yesterday I introduced the Quarter to my class. We were looking at it closely, comparing it to the other coins we know and talking About the face on the front and the symbol on the back. We were noticing that the quarter has a man on the front just like the other coins and one boy chimed in
Student-" I know who this is on the front of the Quarter."
Me- Great, can you tell everyone who you think it is.
Student- Its the principal
Me (confused)- Our principal, Mr. S_______?
Student- Yes, looks just like him.

Our principal is a tall, slender man, with short dark hair, in his 40's...

I love discovering with kindergartners.

Today was an extremely nice day in Ohio. The temperature was in the mid 70's and the sun was shining bright. During recess my students discovered a lone worm in the mulch. They banded together and decided to save "him". Well you can't have just one worm, he needs friends to we stayed outside digging with sticks until the first worm had a family, albeit chosen for him. It was really wonderful to see the some kids mothering this worm (and his new friends) while the others were gathering supplies to build a home. There was also a discovery of a dried up worm on the blacktop. He had a proper funeral and was buried under a pile of grass.

Everyday is a new day in kindergarten...

Roller Coaster Day

Stared off slow
Got better and better
T h e n
Woooosh
Upside down
Around and around
Now back in the station
To start over again tomorrow.

Aunt Pam

Yesterday as I was driving home from that funeral (it was a long drive) the date hit me. March 10.

It was a sunny Tuesday morning. My sister and I were getting ready for school and I was really excited to be going on a field trip that day. We were going to a science museum in Cincinnati and when you are in 6th grade that's a big day. Right before we left on the bus there was a phone call. Mom was worried, we could tell. Aunt Pam had been rushed to the hospital. That was all I knew when I went to school.



Aunt Pam is my moms sister. She was about 5'4", platinum blonde short hair, and a frame the wind could blow over. She had a scratchy voice and a fiesty personality. Growing up Aunt Pam lived in a very small studio apartment in town. She was at our house every Saturday morning so she could do her laundry. She wasn't married and had no children of her own so my sister and I were like her kids. Every Saturday she came over and every Saturday she had something for us. She brought candy bars, coloring books and crayons, matchbox cars, Barbie clothes, books, you name it she brought it over. She loved us. My sister and I would get into trouble and she'd get us out of it. At Christmas she would always buy the huge gift that my dad would have to put together. I think my dad is still cussing her for Barbies Dream House. She loved watching my sister and I grow up and couldn't wait to see us become teenagers and adults.

Aunt Pam married a little later but that didn't stop her from spoiling us. She had a few demons that I didn't learn about until I was older but somehow we didn't know about them. She loved us and thats all we needed to know.



I got off the bus that day, March 10, and my dads truck was in the driveway. My thoughts were whirrling as I walked up the driveway. Dad was never home at this time. Where was mom? Oh, God Aunt Pam was at the hospital this morning. I walked in the door and immediately knew something was wrong. I think my sister was already home so my dad sat us down to talk. He told us that an ambulance had taken her to the hospital. She wasn't feeling well and couldn't breathe. They tried their best but she had passed away. "Passed Away", that's a nice way of saying died and I knew it. I cried and asked lots of questions. Why? Why her? What happened? I don't remember exactly how my dad answered those questions I just remember the absolute heartbreak I was feeling. I remember being mad at her. She wanted to see me grow up she said so, why would she go before I grew up? She talked about what we'd be like in high school and eventually get married and have children. She promised and she wasn't going to miss it. For an eleven year old those are life crushing realizations.

Over the next few days there was a lot of family and funeral, there were pink roses, and laughs and tears. I remember writing her a letter that I sent with her. That letter had several drafts because it's difficult to tell someone how you feel.

Her husband came over a few weeks later and brought me her leather jacket. She LOVED that jacket. It smelled like her and for years; I could still find her scent deep inside.

Today was the 20th anniversary of her death. I still think of her often and wonder what she'd think of me if she were here. I think she would be proud of who I've become and would have been there with me through the whole journey.

I miss you Aunt Pam....

Legacy

This afternoon I attended the funeral of a friend's grandmother. I had never met Grandma Bernie but I did know a lot about her through my friend. She was the matriarch of the family. She was loving and giving but also ornery. She and her husband opened their home to a girl, for reasons I do not know, but I do know the impact they had. She volunteered, was active in her church and belonged to many organizations. She always had treats for the kids and an open ear for them to talk to. She loved to travel often convincing her reluctant husband to go. She played cards and shuffle board and was apparently very competitive. She held the family gatherings right up to this past holiday season. That's where the family came together laughed, cried and connected. She was well loved by many people that was evident today.

I had a long drive home and I got to thinking about legacy. Obviously, Grandma Bernie left many memories and a wonderful legacy for people to remember. Are we living a life that we can be proud of when it's all over? Are the choices we are making helping or hurting? Are we making a difference in others lives or just "getting through" each day? Are we standing up for what's right and picking battles that matter in the long run? Can we go to sleep tonight proud of the person we were today but thinking of how to do it better tomorrow? Would the Grandma Bernies of the world be proud of us?

Something to think about...

Funk

I'm in a funk...not a funky chicken kind of a funk but a no motivation, is this really helping, where do I start kind of funk. I'm not really sure when my funk started or why. These things happen from time to time, usually about this time of year.

I walked into my classroom yesterday and thought "This place is a mess", I'm not sure how my classroom got so disheveled but it did. There were books all over the floor, papers exploding off my easel and piles...piles of I don't know what, everywhere. Writing folders are spilling with work, puzzles are on the counter and the puzzle shelf is empty.

This time of year also gets me thinking that I have ----------------------------this much still to teach with ------this much time left. Have I done enough? What can I still do? Have I done enough?

It's also "testing season", I don't have students who are taking a test but I can still feel it. I can feel the pressure mounting in the other hallway, people are starting to get short with each other, and thoughts of why work so hard if it's all going to be ruined by a test anyway creep into my mind. It's discouraging but I know what's right and will continue the good fight.

Hopefully I will start to break out of my funk when I go into school this weekend and put my room back together. Do you get into these funks too? How do you get out of them?

Wordless Wednesday

My love...

Things I like...

Today I don't feel well so for my slice I'm going to list some random things I like. I always thing that if you feel terrible thinking of positive lovely things will make you feel better.

1. The first Daffodils and Tulips in the spring.
2. The smell of a fire in the fireplace.
3. Children laughing.
4. Telling a student "I don't know but let's find out together."
5. My dogs waggy tail.
6. Anything by Janet Jackson..we've all got our guilty pleasure. :-)
7. Reading a really great book all the way through without stopping.
8. Sunshine
9. Anything Chris makes for dinner.
10. Learning new things.
11. My mom's chili
12. Babies with giant bows in their hair.
13. Cold pillows
14. Discovering new picture books
15. The waves crashing against the beach.
16. Sunsets
17. The blackest nights when millions of stars are visible.
18. Brownies
19. Laughing
20. Finding the perfect gift for someone.
21. Sitting on our deck in the evening.
22. New adventures
23. Anything to do with NYC
24. Watching the NY Yankees play at home while eating a Nathan's hotdog.
25. My sister doing my hair.
26. Having a mani/pedi
27. Waking up with no alarm.
28. Driving with the windows down
29. Hanging with the girls
30. Hugs

Wonder

When comparing myself to most people I would say that I'm a reader. I read several books a year for pleasure and many professional and picture books. When comparing myself to my friends on Twitter I'm barely a reader. So when people who literally read hundreds or thousands of books a year go on and on about a book I know it's a must read. That's what happened with Wonder by R.J. Palacio.

My library only had the audio recording so I emailed them about the book version and they put me first on the list. ( I know it's totally nerdy but how cool is it to be the first on the list).

Wonder is the story of a boy named Auggie who was born with a facial abnormality and he is getting ready to start school, 5th grade, for the first time. This book isn't about a disease but it's about kindness. It's about our reactions and how they are perceived by others. The story is told from several different points of view to get you inside many different minds. When the story was over I loved these characters. I wanted to meet them and tell them how much they had impacted me.

I don't know if Palacio knew when writing this book she was going to change people's lives, change the way they think and how they react to people. Because of this book I will forever think of Auggie when I see someone who is "different" in any way. I will think about my reaction and my words more carefully.

I wish I had read this book when I was in 5th grade. I wasn't mean to other kids but I surely didn't go out of my way to be friends with them. My adult self is disappointed in my younger self but I guess that's the beauty of learning. My 5th grade self probably wouldn't have been friends with Auggie and that's sad, I would have missed out on a great kid.

Every kid and adult should read this book...everyone. You'll learn a lot about yourself and about real kindness. Thank you R.J. Palacio for making me think.

My buddy, Max

A couple of years ago when my boyfriend and I decided to live together we often talked about getting a dog. He works ALL THE TIME and I was really tired of being alone. We both thought a dog would be prefect.

In our six years together he's only forbidden me to do one thing and that's go to the animal shelter. Not because we have anything against animal shelters but he knew I would come home with as many animals as I could load in the car. So instead, I stared looking at petfinder.com. All of the animals are rescues but there's something different about seeing them online than in person.

I was constantly on the site looking at dogs. Big dogs, little dogs, mature dogs, puppies, everything you can imagine. Then one day he popped in the screen...Max. He was this little skinny looking thing with a terrible haircut but he was cute. I read that he was three years old and had a rough time before he was rescued. I had to meet him. Chris thought he was cute but was I sure this was the dog?

I emailed the rescue and asked if we could meet him, they said yes but there were several people looking at him so they couldn't make any promises.

He was about 45 minutes away and as we drove we talked about how things would change with a dog. When we got there he was running and playing with other dogs but really had no interest in us. He smelled us and licked us but he was having too much fun with his buddies. Even though he didn't pay attention to us there was something about him that we both loved. I immediately filled out the paperwork and contacted the place...over and over. A few days later they called and said that we were the ones who got to take him home.

Little did we know how that phone call would change us. Max had a rough life before he came here. He'd never had a haircut so he was found matted and dirty. We don't think he was fed much so he was under weight. He was scared of men...even Chris. He wasn't house broken and he had a severe ear infection.

Max and I became buddies pretty quick. He is with me all the time, and gets mad when Chris is home taking up his couch space. He does like Chis but only when I'm not around.

Max is a quirky little dog but I wouldn't have it any other way. He eats carrots like its his job and walks in at least 1 clockwise circle before doing anything. I mean anything, taking a drink, jumping on the couch, going outside, eating a treat...anything.

He's also one of my best friends. Although he's not a cuddly dog he knows when I'm sad and sits close by. If he could talk I'd be in trouble. :-) It's so nice to know he's here even though he gets grumpy if I wake him.

Here's to Max, my Fuzzface

Tornados

I love a good thunderstorm.  As a kid my dad and I used to sit on the breezeway between our house and the garage and watch the lightening and listen to the thunder.  We would watch the ditch in front of our house fill up with water and cout seconds between lightening strikes and the sound of thunder.

Yesterday, Mother Nature crossed the line from showing her power to causing destruction.  The surrounding areas where I grew up had terrible thunderstorms and tornados.  I'm very thankful that my family and friends are safe but I hurt for those close by who are not.  Lives are destroyed and the only thing left to do it pick up the pieces.  When I figure out the best way to help I'll let you know, in the meantime please keep KY, IN, and OH in your thoughts and prayers.

This new journey in writing...

Yesterday's post wasn't the introductory post I had envisioned. I thought my first post would state why I was joining this crazy challenge, who I am as a writer and what I believe. I always tell my students to "write what's in your heart", that's not what was in my heart yesterday so it didn't get written.

Last weekend at the Dublin Literacy Conference, Ruth Ayers talked about this Slice of Life Challenge. I'd seen posts from other people but didn't really know anything about the project. Ruth challenged us to write something of our life once a day for 31 days. I'm not really a writer. I always have tons of ideas swirling around in my head but never seem to be able to get them organized or communicate them as clearly as I want. I'm nervous about writing. Writing puts you out there, vulnerable, your thoughts floating around for others to read and know.

During her keynote Donalyn Miller said reading is the inhale and writing is the exhale. I really like inhaling but what if the exhale is in the morning and it's a combination of morning breath, peanut butter and coffee? Inhaling is safe.

Then Ruth talked about how if we need to be readers to teach reading (yes, I love reading!), then we need to be writers to teach writing (wait a second..that makes too much sense but I don't like it). Ruth got me thinking about my writing life. I write lists (ooohh how I love a list), tweets, thank you cards, the occasional blog post, emails to parents, notes on students, and emails to friends and family. I ask my students (5 and 6 year olds) to write everyday for 20-30 minutes. I might be doing that per week.

This brings me to the tweets about supporting each other on this writing journey. I really think it's important for me to be a writer if I'm going to teach it but man, is it hard. With the support from my friends I can do this challenge and just maybe in the end I will have become a better writer.

Yesterday I wrote about the heartbeat I was feeling about a very special family moving. The post didn't come out quite like I'd hope but the comments made me smile all day. Ruth also spoke about how feedback keeps her going...it kept me going yesterday. Thank you for your kind words and helping me get through the day. I can take another step forward in this writing journey.

Here's to a new journey....

*also told myself I can't read SOL posts unless I write my own. I love reading them too much not to write :-)